for being too full of life
of seeing the things that i have to write
and then in the morning
like clockwork
the fear and the dread
of that mornings reality
as if this isnt real
as if i dont hold water
up to the point that i
spring a leak
and my eyes leak
and my nose squeaks
and i
hate the world that i am afraid
cant handle what it cant understand
and i dont have the clarity to see as i have seen
and i dont have the memory
to express what i have been
and then i do
because it is the longing that draws us nearer
and it is the flame that burns us
but it is that water
that quenches our thirst
and we will never understand our thirst
but we can overcome our lust
and find happiness
in every waking moment
my love has left me too lonely
my love has left me
and im too lonely
if only
i could have loved her less
if only i could hold on to lonliness
maybe then i could overcome
this dysfuncctional fear
of myself